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Your Genitals Are Out to Kill You

Idea/Conception: Xexilia Zajac

Artist: 'Bob'

Writer: Xexilia Zajac




  Your Genitals Are Out to Kill You is the result of many years of simply living life.  In high school, this was a saying of mine--'I know my genitals are out to kill me'--and ironically turned out to be rather accurate when I was diagnosed years later with a condition called endometriosis.  Luckily, I had two things; A Catholic upbringing instilling a feeling of guilt around sex, and a book I'd bought called Stupid Sex, recounting thousands of newspaper accounts of stupid things people did during sex, or masturbation, that got them sent to the ER or jail--sometimes both.


  Sadly, my peers didn't, and I knew loads of people who screwed up big time with sex; Having it unprotected, sticking it in places where it didn't belong--the list got longer with each year of high school.  I began asking my female friends, those who constantly were about to be having an unplanned child, just why they chose to engage in sex over. . .other things.

  They replied that the reason was "That's gross--sex isn't."


   So, for years, I rolled this around in my head, and watched my friends continue to have. . .stupid sex.  Well--I didn't watch watch.  But I heard plenty about it.


  Then, a few years ago, a book hit the market called Go the Fuck to Sleep.  This was a "children's" book not actually intended for children, but frustrated adults with children.  For some reason, it jingled my memories of all this stupid sex, and I thought. . .'What if someone wrote a 'children's' book telling people what not to do?'

  So I sat down and began to write said book; The problem I quickly ran into was not having a whole lot of words to rhyme with penis, or vagina--and crafting rhymes around these events was extremely challenging.  I also realized that even after I finished writing the book?  I'd have to do big, pretty illustrations for every page--a lot of work for a joke.


  I shelved the idea.  Sure--it was funny, but what were the odds the work would pay off?  It seemed like a lot of work to result in something no one would ever see.


  A few more years later, I met 'Bob' on MangaMagazine in a Google Hangout; We started talking and shooting the breeze, and somehow, I remembered this idea and mentioned it jokingly to 'Bob'.

  'Bob' loved the idea and quickly drew up some strips for me.  Pretty soon I had them in my email, and a little after that, I added Your Genitals Are Out to Kill You on SmackJeeves.


Who's 'Bob'?


  'Bob' is another artist/writer friend of mine, who's career aspirations conflict with the humor in YGAOTKY.  Since neither of us wanted this joke comic to ruin our real-world lives, 'Bob' opted out of getting any credit--unless the comic somehow generated funds.  Should that ever happen, 'Bob' will be credited--and paid--like 'Bob' should be.


  However, I feel it's important to mention I'm not a fan of 'Bob's' decision--as I worry it makes me look like an asshole--but I respect it, and 'Bob', and I'm not going to out anyone.  Should the comic somehow ever take off, I look forward to giving 'Bob' the credit--and payment--deserved.


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