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So, on November 11th at about 10:30AM, Winston's cat, Iggy, went to Heaven. We stayed with him the whole time, kept him calm, and sang and petted him to sleep. I let him bite my hand one last time and hoped he'd leave a permeate scar I could always remember him by.
Since this time last year, life has been a whole new level of stress; Constantly fearing Iggy's fate, constantly watching him (Is he still breathing? Is he in pain?), trying to care for him--a cat who refused to let his illness slow him down! Finally it began to, though, and toward the end, Iggy could do little more than sleep. Moving hurt him, eating, drinking. I brought him food and tried to keep him healthy but I knew I was just bargaining; If I do everything right, he'll make it, I kept crazily telling myself and setting myself up for heart break.
Unfortunately, my psychiatrist said watching the event is psychologically scarring (Winston and I agree that it wasn't about us in that moment, but Iggy), and told me to talk to my school about some time off--that losing a pet is the same as losing an immediate family member. I didn't; I could already see my school laughing at the idea. I didn't need that; But continuing on seemed impossible.
Oddly, I finished the semester; While I was convinced I failed several of my classes--I seem to have passed them all? I didn't get my usual straight A's--but I passed! Now, of course, it's time for me to relax--for real relax. Relax like I haven't ever before.
I've also realized that since my surgery, I've been in this go go go mode. . .which hasn't been great for my body. I think I'm still healing and need to focus on my health, physical and emotional.
Pages will come as I am ready.
Eternity Concepts' Besties
Look at all the cool stuff my friends* make!
Nuriko (Made a person!)
roryseviltwin is in hiatus D:
*Surprised to find out we're buds? Well, dude, we must've talked and you must've been pretty cool. How awesome is it to be you today?!